Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize