Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
