well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
