I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
