She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
