I want to have your abortion
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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