ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
