honey bunches of taint.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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