4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
