Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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