also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
