I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
