Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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