sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
