omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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