Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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