More tranny stories later!
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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