who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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