i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
