I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
