I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
