so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
