How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
