its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
