And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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