so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize