I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
