so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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