i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
