I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
