so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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