Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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