I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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