Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize