There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
