I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
