Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
