how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
