I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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