And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
