omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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