I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
