PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
