So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
