so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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