sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just high enough for therapy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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