You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
