My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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