3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
