Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
