I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
