let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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