seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
