I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
