so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize