So drunk its hurt
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
