I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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