Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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