You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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