Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
